I had written this big long post comparing writing to photography. Comparing me writing lyrics to that of taking a snapshot and how seasoned writers; real writers, develop their characters much in the same way that an old fashioned photograph was developed. It was a cool post, I and then hell, I don't know what happened I erased every bit of it. So here's the jest of it. There are some brilliant writers who post on my blog, and you seem like really nice people. Now I have mustered the courage to let you read what I have written. So what do you say, you read my writing, critique it and make me a better writer? Be forewarned, my grammar stinks, and the story line and character developments are weak. Also be reminded that sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. Thanks and big hugs.
Here goes.
Prologue
Between a dreamlike state and shadows that brush away the business of the day, there exists a place of serenity; a place where cares melt into the twilight.
I am going there.
Will you come with me?
Will you forget all that you have become and assume a peaceful mind?
Cry with me.
Fall with me.
Imagine with me.
Rejoice with me.
The outside world need not we are here.
We are lost in our own world and we can be found only if we choose to be.
Note: I tried my hand at writing a children's book and failed miserably. It fizzled before I finished it.
The beginning of chapter one is on the next post. If you don't want to critique me that's just fine, I understand.
6 comments:
I find the passage highly provacative and dreamy. Keep going and don't worry. You have a way with words, and spelling and grammar can somewhat be helped along with a good editor. But don't even worry about it, because you can always go back later, and that works for many.
Note: I tried my hand at writing a children's book and failed miserably. It fizzled before I finished it.
Keep at it. Robert Rodriguez (the guy who did Desperado, Spy Kids, From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, etc) said that everyone has six bad movies in them. I'm sure it's the same for books.
Best to get those out of the way and in the trash, so we could see your good works.
Between a dreamlike state and shadows that brush away the business of the day, there exists a place of serenity; a place where cares melt into the twilight.
I am going there.
Will you come with me?
Will you forget all that you have become and assume a peaceful mind?
Cry with me.
Fall with me.
Imagine with me.
Rejoice with me.
The outside world need not we are here.
We are lost in our own world and we can be found only if we choose to be.
I like this. I might see what you wrote differently from what you meant, but it took me to a fairy tale world.
Awe, thanks for giving me some feedback. I really appreciate it. :) I knew I could count of you guys.
Scott--Sometimes I feel as if my poor grammar and spelling skills are a hinderance to me. Your right, I could go back and edit it, or have someone else do it. I mean afterall, if some can write books; Madonna and Britney Spears come to mind, then surely I can. Of course, I don't have money and fame to intrigue people into at least reading it. Ha! Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Zombie--Thanks for the input and encouragement. Just courious, how did you view the prologue? What did you think it meant? :)
Okay. I'll give you my opinion, now that I've seen what follows:
You don't need a prologue. What you've written here doesn't seem to be a prologue (the word prologue means "what came before"), but rather some jacket copy. Good jacket copy, poetic jacket copy even, but not a prologue. Of course, I don't write childrens books, so maybe this is a convention I'm not aware of.
As for developing characters, what works for me is to get them up and walking around. When they do things, they reveal themselves to me just as people in the real world reveal themselves by their actions. If you watch what they do, you will know what they're going to do next - and how to share that knowledge with your readers.
If I could tell you one thing about photography and writing, it is this: a photograph tells you very little. You see a stranger's face on the page and fill in the blanks. You give the face a history, heartaches, pains, desires. You give that face, that two-dimensional person, a life.
A good writer will let you do the same with a character. They become rich and real because the writer allows you to give them life. If he gives them life, if he tells you too much, then the character will always be a character. If he gives you a snapshot, rich in texture and shadow, and maybe color... and then you fill in the blanks, providing your own backstory, the character will become a person. One you will always remember.
Mark--Thanks for your suggestions. You are right about the prologue, I didn't need it. It's just that I felt it was pertinent to the character. Essential for the character's voice because she's asking if you will come along on her journey.
I like poetic passages. Maybe I should have introduced the passage(my prologue) in the beginning of chapter one.
As for comparing writing to photography, that wasn't my intention. In my original blog post I had gone into depth comparing the brevity of my lyric writing to that of a snapshot in photography. Comparitively speaking, to that of a beatifully woven peice of expository writing. Speaking metaphorically, comparing polaroids(song lyrics) and old fashioned photorgraphy(developed plot and story line), was my intention. Apparently it wasn't received that way. That point is moot.
Thirdly, don't let the fact that I revealed that I had tried to write a children's book and failed, fool you. The character is indeed a child. But the book will be specifically a "Pandora's Box" of a world as seen through the eyes of a child.
Anyway, thank you so much for the tip on character developement. I'll make sure to get my characters up and walking about.
ta,
Moni :)
"Speaking metaphorically, comparing polaroids(song lyrics) and old fashioned photorgraphy(developed plot and story line), was my intention. Apparently it wasn't received that way. That point is moot."
I feel foolish for missing your intent. I love the metaphor.
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